Though many claim to be pretty much immune to alcohol after years of drowning their bodies with floods of beers, spirits, shots and every other alcoholic beverage known to man, there was a time when we were all less experienced in handling booze and that inexperience got the better of our bodies. Though the first things we normally think that happens when a person is drunk is they start acting spastic and puke like there’s no tomorrow, booze also tires us out and we just simply nod off (or black out more like it). Often you’ll wake up not knowing where you are or why you’re there, and your mates will surely take photos of you sleeping while pointing and laughing at you, and give you shit for it the next day.
While this isn’t so bad if you’re at a party where you can crash at your mate’s house, it can be really bad and embarrassing if you’re at a nightclub. Not only for obvious reasons like someone robbing you or other sinister things, but you’ll get kicked out of the club! One time at Marquee, I had too much to drink and decided to sit at a table for a sec, and that wooden seat and table in the corner suddenly felt as comfy as a La-Z-Boy. Needless to say, I was off to la la land. A female bouncer woke me up to check if I was alright and warned me that the other bouncers will kick me out if they see me asleep. Though plastered, I was smart enough to take her hint and go home. I got lucky; I would obviously much rather leave on my own accord than have heavyset arseholes grab me and throw me onto the footpath outside.
You might simply get unnoticed and left alone if you’re in a corner, but don’t assume that happening means you won’t get into trouble. In 2010 in England, a guy fell asleep in a nightclub toilet and was locked inside and the fire brigade and police got involved in letting him out. Just imagine the flack his mates gave him for his falling asleep making the news!
The closest thing I can think of about falling asleep at a nightclub is pretending to be unconscious to stay out of a brawl. Just say if some dickhead tries to punch your head, pretend he hit you and fall down real quick. Think of it as a dive you’re taking like boxers do for a big payout if you’re too proud to admit defeat. The bouncers will (or at least should) come and break up the fight quick smart and drag you away without you actually having to move a muscle. Remember that episode of The Simpsons during a World War II flashback where a young Mr Burns pretended to be dead so he could sleep while being carried out of the battlefield because he couldn’t be arsed fighting? Well, you’re Mr Burns.
Just remember: Getting drunk + Drowsiness = zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Thursday 8 March 2012