Talking To Your Parents About Clubbing

Though we often brag about the shenanigans we get up to when clubbing to our mates, whether it be setting a new benchmark on how drunk you can get or how many hook-ups you’ve had, at least two people you won’t say boo about clubbing to are your parents. To everyone else, you’ll be like, “Oh yeah, it was a top night, got with all these chicks, it was fully sick!” and go on about it in explicit detail. But when it comes to mummy and daddy, you’ll probably just say, “Yeah, it was alright” and end it at that.

You’re not gonna tell your folks you got pissed, spewed, had a one night stand with whatever the person you rooted’s name was. The more easygoing parents out there might try to relate to their kids by telling them about their clubbing misadventures when they were young as a way of keeping tabs on what their kid gets up to, and just want to offer some guidance. Though you know they have good intentions, all of this is the very definition of awkward. You hate it when your parents merely mention sex or there’s a sex scene in a movie you’re both watching, so hearing about their sexual escapades when they used to go clubbing is like a sexed up version of what happens in the Saw movies; just plain wrong.

It’s even worse if you have strict parents who don’t want you to go clubbing, despite the fact you’re over 18 and can legally do whatever you pretty darn well want. Young people from more traditional cultures often have to lie about going to nightclubs as their parents normally forbid them to go and will chastise them if they find out their “sweet innocent child” went to a place where moral depravity not only happens, but is encouraged. It’s one thing to tell your kids what they can and can’t do when they are children or even teenagers, but once they are over 18, it’s pretty ridiculous. I knew a guy who was 23 years old and we went clubbing once, and this particular club had an outdoor party area where people could smoke, so smoke was all around us. When we got back to the place we were staying at that night, he hung up all his clothes on the clothes line to air out the smell of cigarette smoke so his mum doesn’t smell it when she washes his clothes. I am not making that up.

Though having to lie and find ways to make sure your parents don’t find out about you going clubbing might sound funny to some, it’s a very annoying and sad reality for many. So if you have easygoing parents who have no problem with you going out and are just merely curious about how your night was, consider yourself lucky!

Originally published here at on Wednesday 7 March 2012

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