Many girls scoff when guys make crude sex jokes. However, many girls’ drink of choice at bars and nightclubs are cocktails, and often the naughtier the name of the cocktail, the more likely broads will drink them. After drinking enough of them, many girls will be able to tell their gal pals a “cock tale” or two. Many of the cocktail names out there are basically just sex puns that probably came from the scribblings on walls of high school boys toilets, so you may find the following cocktail names tasteless (which would be strange since cocktails come in a variety of flavours).
1. Slippery Nipple
This cocktail named after the human female’s version of an utter is surely drunk by girls after competing in a wet t-shirt contest. After having a few of these, the aforementioned body part will certainly be slipping out of the girl’s clothes sooner than later.
2. Sex On The Beach
You know that cliche that all women love long walks on the beach? Apparently, this cocktail also makes them enjoy rooting along the coastline. If you’re a guy taking a girl on a date and think you might get lucky, take her to a bar near a beach.
3. Screaming Orgasm
All guys like to think they can get chicks to scream and moan loud enough to discover a new decibel level when bedding them.
4. Wet Panties
Guys also like to think they can get a girl all wet “down there” long before getting in bed with them. However, a girl wetting herself after having too many of these is not sexy at all.
5. Cock Up My Arse
The cocktail that definitely makes a guy’s schlong a cock “tail” when inserted into a girl’s sphincter. After drinking this cocktail, to paraphrase Bad Santa, girls won’t gonna shit right for a week. Beware when ordering this drink at a gay club, I cannot stress that enough!
6. Blow Job
Guys must love when girls order this. Seeing girls sucking on a straw when drinking this cocktail hoping she’ll suck on his cock’s tail later that night is one of those things girls do that gets guys drooling. Ironically, one of the ingredients is whipped cream.
7. Multiple Orgasm
Like the many ingredients this cocktail has, guys hope to give girls more than one orgasm in a night as this cocktail’s name unsubtly suggests.
8. Butt Sex
Seeing a girl drink this doesn’t necessarily mean they do anal, but will guys and girls alike giggling at the thought of trying this kinky act out together.
9. Sex On My Face
Though technically impossible (unless you count oral sex), this lewdly named cocktail will surely get peoples attention and get aroused at the thought of a seemingly impossible sexual act that they want to prove can be done.
10. Menage a Trois
Many have fantasised about having a threesome, and guys out on the prowl who try to chat up two gals at once might buy them each one Menage a Trois, hoping to subliminally advertise he has the bedroom skills to handle two chicks at once.
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Monday 2 April 2012