Being The Third Wheel When Clubbing With A Couple

You know how a night out clubbing can really suck? If you’re out with a couple and you are the third wheel. Yes, the dreaded third wheel scenario is one at least most of us have been through at one time or another. Though the couple you’re out with might not have a problem with you tagging along and may have even invited you, there’salways that feeling you can’t escape from that they’re secretly wishing you weren’t around as you’re interrupting potential coitus for them, or “couple’s time” to put it more politely. All doubt of this is removed when they start making out, leaving you out to rot in the noisy, dark environment we call a nightclub.

Their groping of one another leaves you all alone feeling lost and not knowing what to do or where to go. Though you could head to the bar and attempt to break a drinking record or wreck the dance floor with your mad shuffling skills, ultimately neither of these accomplishments will feel as good as they would have had your friends cheered you on instead of paying attention to their partner’s fiddly bits because you are all alone.

But this begs the question: why do couples bother inviting anyone else with them if all they want is to be alone together? In fact, why go to a public place like a nightclub if all they want to do is get in each others’ pants? Perhaps they originally wanted the company of someone else as they are bored or frustrated with each other and want to take out their anger constructively by using their energy on the dance floor and figured they might as well make it a group thing to catch up with friends. But once the drinks get into their system, any annoyance the couple has with each other disappears into a fog that stinks of booze and lust, ultimately making you coming out with them a waste of your precious time when you could have been spending your Saturday night out with other mates or watching porn.

However, if you’re the partying type and a social butterfly, it won’t matter and you’ll make your own fun. You can talk to randoms and make new friends, or see someone that floats your boat and try to chat them up. Good on you if you’ve made the best of this situation, but unfortunately for the most part, as the old saying goes, two’s company, three’s a crowd. However, if the couple’s drunk and you successfully suggest a threesome, then it’s a happy ending for everyone.

Originally published here at on Wednesday 11 April 2012

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