Top 5 Excuses Bouncers Use To Bar You

Most clubbers don’t care much for bouncers. While sometimes bouncers have genuine reasons to not let people in, many bouncers reject potential customers merely for their own amusement. In other words, to have a power trip. Making this worse are the ridiculous excuses they use to bar people from bars and nightclubs.

Not only can not being let in ruin your night, but it was over something retarded a big thickheaded douche made up. Quite shattering, isn’t it?

1. Members Only
This excuse is irritating to hear after waiting in a huge line and you know there’s no way all of those people were members, or if your mates got in before you and you know for a fact they’re not members!

2. Too Many Guys Inside
Well, bouncers, whose fault is that? Groups of guys won’t get in because they don’t have girls with them. This forces guys to pair up with girls who are kind enough to help them get in. While this is a good way to pick up, it can unfortunately be like trying to chat up girls inside the club; they will only really help out the good looking ones and ignore the average looking ones.

3. Not Having The Right Shoes
Though girls are normally the ones with shoe fetishes, guys have to be very particular about what shoes to wear to nightclubs. How clean and polished they are, their colour, whether they are closed shoes, the type of shoe, and whether they even have frickin’ laces or not! One thing about their shoes the bouncer doesn’t like, they’re not getting in.

4. You’re Too Drunk (Even If You’re Not)
Bouncers are willing to say anyone from a priest to a judge is pissed if they don’t like the look of them. One time I tried to go to Billboard, but the dickhead bouncer wouldn’t let me in because he thought I was really drunk, but I wasn’t even tipsy! I went to the back of the line and hoped the bouncer forgot who I was by the time I got to the front of the line again; he didn’t. This was around 10-10:30pm, way too early to be off my face!

5. Dressed Too Formally
You read that right; too formally. Once at Wah Wah Lounge, the bouncer said the reason why my group couldn’t get in was because it was an informal club and the guys in my group had collars on their shirts! There was also the time on the night of my Year 12 formal that some guy on the street was handing out entry cards to get into Showgirls Bar 20 and all my male classmates and I wanted to get in, but the bouncer wouldn’t let us as we were all dressed in fancy suits and were considered to be dressed too formally for a strip club. Don’t most strip clubs go out of their way to establish themselves as a “classy gentlemen’s club”? What’s more classy than a tux!

Originally published here at on Tuesday 20 March 2012

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