Top 5 Late Night Fast Food Joints

Despite knowing how bad junk food is, most of us still eat it on a regular basis, simply because it tastes good and it’s convenient. Fortunately for the many bar hoppers and clubbers around town, fast food joints know how after a night of hitting the dance floor and grog hard that us young’ns have big appetites and crave something greasier than the new oil your mechanic put in your car on its last service.

1. Hot Dog Vans
For clubbers, hot dogs vans definitely tend to be the easiest of the late-night fast food outlets to get to; they park right in front of the clubs for God’s sake! Hot dog vendors are opportunists and have a very successful operation going. When patrons come out of the dark club with having had multiple colours flashing all around them for hours, they walk out of the club and see amongst the darkness of night the bright white light that draws them in, offering them salvation (for their empty bellies) that’s coming from the hot dog van.

2. Kebab/Souvlaki/Pizza Stands
Kebab, souvlaki, and pizza stands are easier to get to if you’re at a suburban nightclub or a house party as they aren’t as common in the city. God bless the Middle-Eastern or Indian men who stay up all night slicing away at the rotating vertical spit to cut some chicken or lamb or whatever is on the menu make a packet out of drunkards wondering around the ‘hood craving meat in a bun or on some dough.

3. Convenience Stores/Servos
These places have the most variety of all the late night shops to get snacks from. Hot dogs, potato chips, lollies, soft drink, you name it, convenience stores and servos have them. The designated driver can fill up the car while you and the other drunks choose what snacks to pig out on, so these places benefit everyone.

4. Pancake Parlour
Probably the hardest one to come across and the oddest choice in late night cuisine, why you would want pancakes of all things at 3am is a mystery. But I guess we all get a bit of a sweet tooth at any given moment, and what’s sweeter late at night than pancakes with ice cream and toppings on top!

5. Burger Joints
Many of the fast food chain restaurants that you see everywhere, especially McDonald’s, are more than happy to serve you late night tucker, often making someone yell “Maccas Run!”. Gotta pity Ronald McDonald’s minions having to work late on a Friday or Saturday night while everyone else is partying. There’s no doubt their “Mac All Night” campaign is very much aimed at those guys dying for a Big Mac after some chick refused to touch their Big Mac. But if they did pick up, I guess they will have two things going straight to their thighs afterwards.

To finish off this smorgasbord of an article, here’s a hilarious video of the best Maccas Run you will ever see:

Originally published here at on Saturday 28 April 2012

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