When you and your mates start planning a night out, you’re all pretty stoked about heading out to the clubs and getting smashed beyond belief. But then the ball drops: someone just asked if you could be the designated driver! Upon hearing this, you think, “What did I do to deserve this?”
Though you don’t necessarily have to be drunk when clubbing, let’s face it, it’s almost a necessity to slam down the grog to properly enjoy it. So when you were denied this precious liquid, it’s yet another reminder that life can be extremely unfair sometimes.
Fortunately, lying was invented for mankind to use to get out of doing stuff they really don’t want to do. There are few things people would lie for more than to find a way to guzzle down intoxicating substances. So use these excuses and leave your car keys at home!
1. Say You Were The Designated Driver Last Time
Tell your mates this and say that it would be unfair of them to expect you to be bored shitless at the club and put up with their drunken bullshit while you drive them home yet again. Best part of it is that your friends were probably too drunk on the last night out to remember how they even got home, let alone who drove them there, so they’ll believe you. Even if one of your friend’s has a big mouth and says they were the designated driver last time, say “Nah man, that was the time before. I was the designated driver last time”. Not being completely sure of the facts, your friend will go along with it.
2. Your Car’s At The Mechanic’s
Like all machines, cars break down and need servicing. With cars being the delicate chunks of metal that they are, the mechanic needs your car at their shop so they look it over and find ways to rip you off. Say that you had to drop it off on Friday, so your car will be locked inside the mechanic’s garage all weekend. Probably best you get public transport or your parents to take you to the club so your friend who got roped into being the designated driver doesn’t see your car in your driveway when picking you up from home.
3. Your Parents Need The Car
This one’s more relevant to younger clubbers, mostly those who would still be on their P-Plates, but could work if you live at home still. If you’re at uni or just don’t have the money to buy your own car, you’ll be using your parent’s car to get around. Say how your “inconsiderate” parents need to use their own car to go out on the night it was your turn to played designated driver. Talk about bad luck!
4. Your Car’s Too Small To Have Everyone In It
Many young people tend to buy smaller cars as their first car as they’re cheaper and it’s only them in it most of the time. If you’ve got a big enough group, say that there’s “no way” that you could fit everyone into your tiny little automobile and that it’s probably better to get someone with a bigger car to do the driving duties. This excuse works a treat if you have something like an Astra, a Hatchback, a Corolla or any other tiny car that’s more cramped than a woman on her rags.
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Sunday 14 October 2012