Us boys think we’re pretty hilarious, and often we are (to ourselves at least). Girls always either hide their head in shame or scoff “Oh, men!” at our shenanigans, embarrassed and sometimes furious at our public immature acts. Though frankly some girls need to get a sense of humour, there are times when guys do cross the line, especially when what they do is sexual.
When drunk or just really cocky, guys think doing some very suggestive things is a way of not only telling the girl he fancies her, but will seduce her. How wrong they are. Guys laugh after doing one of these things, and his mates cheer on him, saying stuff like “Good one! She’s wants you bad mate!” while she’s complaining to her friends about what you just did. If they did these things in the workplace, it’d be considered sexual harassment and you could very easily get sued for it, but are somehow perfectly acceptable at nightclubs. Society really does have askew views on sexual conduct, doesn’t it?
1. Groping Her
Obviously guys that do this without the girl’s permission have ignored the old rule “look but don’t touch”. If you just go up to a random girl and grab her knockers or squeeze her arse, then expect a huge slap or at least a greasy. Guys think if they are forward about what they want, the girl will see this as a sign of confidence, therefore will drool over him. Though this notion can sometimes apply, grabbing her goodies too early is a big no-no.
2. Telling Sleazy Jokes
Again, some guys think anything that comes out of their mouth is hilarious, including their puke. Whether it’s a dirty joke about a midget or a dominatrix, the joke always ends in sex, a not so subtle way of getting the girl thinking about sex. But doing this will probably make her want to root him even less than before.
3. Dry Humping Her On The Dance Floor
Unless she’s DTF, no girl will like this! Going up to a girl from behind, grabbing her waist and basically pounding her arse with your crotch is almost like rape on the dance floor. Okay, maybe “rape” is a bit dramatic, but she will be cut beyond belief, and don’t be surprised if the bouncer drags you away.
4. Doing Pussy Fingers
While heaps of girls post pics of themselves doing the pussy fingers on Facebook, this is not some message to guys to show they want guys to go down on them. Nor is it a sign she’s into girls, so don’t bother convincing her on going down that road or another girl.
5. Flashing His Cock
A guy really shouldn’t flash his doodle around in public. It’s just feral and the girl will probably be horrified! Or it could really backfire if the guy’s got a tiny penis that could fit into a baby sock, making the girl and everyone else laugh their arses off.
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Thursday 16 August 2012