Do Guys Have To Be Perfect In Nightclubs?

People can really be shallow tools at times. Though I don’t think I’m the worst looking guy in the world, I’m a million light years away from being anything resembling Channing Tatum in the looks department, so I’m definitely not one of those “hunky” guys girls like. I won’t lie, I never really got too far with girls in clubs, with both having a gut and only being average looking (at best). We all go to nightclubs and try to be as impressive as possible to pick up. But sometimes no matter how much skill you’ve got, sometimes your physical flaws just can’t be overlooked, no matter how minor they might be. It’s bullshit and completely unfair, but nightclubs are meat markets unfortunately. Natural selection exists amongst humans too.

Though it’s usually the guy who initiates the conversation with whatever girl takes his fancy, ultimately it’s the girl who determines whether anything’s going to happen between them. LL Cool J said this simple but profound lyric in his song ‘Ain’t Nobody’: “The man don’t choose the woman, the woman chooses the man”. Truer words have never been spoken, definitely something deluded “chick magnets” need to be reminded of.

I remember I went to Billboard once and this girl I was friends with at the time was drunkenly dancing with this very large dude, like over the top, really bad ballroom dancing in a nightclub that plays house. Others around us were imitating them for a laugh. Kinda embarrassing for the rest of us actually. The girl even kissed the guy when they departed (despite the fact she had a boyfriend), and when we were in the car heading home, she said she gave him a fake number because, even though he was a great dancer, he was fat.

So what gives? That guy showed her he could be fun and was great company on the dance floor, but she still rejected him because of his weight. Why did she even bother talking to him then? Yes, she had a boyfriend and was very drunk that night, so nothing could happen beyond dancing, but still. I often hear girls say they love a guy with a great personality, but c’mon, there’s a bit of bullshit going on there.

Anyway, enough about that bitch and back to the topic at hand. Do guys have to be perfect when they go to impress girls? We could sit here and argue that only really shallow, bitchy girls are like that, and yes, some girls are worse than others, but it’s getting harder for average dudes to get girls to like them. It really seems like us men have to be an alpha male just to merely get your attention.

Girls, what the hell do we have to do to get you to like us? You say you like confident men who take charge, but when we do approach you, we’re suddenly “sleazy” and told to fuck off. Or you say you like fun guys, but when we try to joke around or dance with you, you tell us to grow up. You can’t have it both ways ladies.

I suppose we’d all like to hook up with the best looking peeps possible (it’s only human nature), but unless you’re one of the “elite”, picking up in clubs can be really shitty and even depressing.

Feel free to leave your thoughts on the subject below, even if it’s just to say how full of shit I am. 😛

Originally published here at on Saturday 4 May 2013

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