The Tackiness Of Nightclub Birthday Invitations

My birthday’s just around the corner, so I’m totes looking forward to getting free stuff. But something I’ve been getting plenty of before B-Day are invitations from nightclubs I haven’t been to in ages to celebrate my birthday there. Aren’t I supposed to be the one sending the birthday invites? But I digress…

In the past two weeks, I’ve received a posted invitation that’s basically a postcard from Marquee, and a text message and an email from Billboard promising I’d get “the VIP treatment” with things like cheap or free entry or (a few) free drinks, though I “must” bring a minimum of three friends to receive the drink card. Marquee’s postcard is for their Over 28s night on Fridays, which shows the aim of their night is pointless as I’m turning 26, so I’ll still be too young for that (technically speaking).

Point being, are these invitations a great reward for trekking through the dance floor and all the bullshit that comes with clubbing, or just a tacky advertisement? Well, the answer’s obviously that the club’s trying to get your business, and your mates’ business for that matter. Is nothing sacred? Not really, no. (Christmas, anyone?)

In theory, it’s a great idea for clubs to do this for their members to help them celebrate becoming a year older at “their favourite club”. If these youngins were going clubbing anyway, they might as well go to the club they hang out at on a normal weekend. It’s just that fake ideal the clubs try to pass off as consideration or something that’s just for “the special people” that’s cringe worthy. At the end of the day, you’re just another drunk bastard who the bouncer is looking to kick out while ruining your birthday.

You just can’t help but roll your eyes at the audacity of these clubs, making you wonder why you became a member of these clubs to begin with. Then you remember: you were 18 and thought clubbing was the best thing ever. (It is, but the kids go overboard. I know that sounds lame, but I am turning 26 after all). 😦

Originally published here at on Tuesday 5 March 2013

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