The hangover; the inevitable consequence of drinking too much booze the night before. Your head’s banging, your stomach’s queasy and you don’t know whether you should eat something or not, and of course the vomiting, making your breath stink and your eyes water. The physical side of it just plain sucks.
But what about the social implications of it? Yes, there will be those who will tisk and shake their heads at you, pointing out how this is your own fault. (It doesn’t help you that you say you’ll never do it again, even though everyone, yourself included, knows that’s a flat out lie). Anyway, my question is, does having a hangover make you look cool? In its own stupid way, it does.
Again, you won’t physically look cool (pale skin and bloodshot eyes), but you will appear cool. Why? Everybody brags about what a good time they had the night before, when they got “so wasted” and apparently hooked up with some really hot chick (her “hotness” was probably a result of your beer goggles though). You can brag about how you had X amount of shots or beers or whatever poison you had (provided it was enough booze to brag about of course) to make you so fully sick (both figuratively and literately).
Even if you’re one of the poor souls who have to work the next day, you’ll look tougher for going to work still. You’ll look tough for not letting something as lame as a hangover stop you from slaving away to the corporate machine to earn some extra dough. “Calling in sick? Ha! That’s for pussies!” Though you probably won’t do your job properly, whatevs, everyone else has come to work hungover, so why can’t you? Besides, you can walk in wearing sunglasses, and sunnies are just plain cool. (Mind you, you should probably try to hide your hangover when the boss is around).
The more hungover you are, the more you must’ve drank the night before. So if you’re perfectly fine the next day, you pretty much drank fuck all, but if you’re anything like the dudes in the movie The Hangover, where you lost a friend, got a tattoo on your face, or stole a celebrity’s pet tiger, then you must’ve had an epic (i.e. fucked up) night. Whether you think that’s a good thing or not is up for debate.
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Tuesday 23 July 2013