Though I’m sure many bouncers out there would be fed up with the nightclub scene as it’s just work for them and not fun like it is for everyone else, plenty of them would love to go out and have a great night out too. They are human too (believe it or not). But like when having to deal with a bouncer at the door, there’s a lot of shit you have to put up from them when going clubbing with them too. That’s right, some people will actually go clubbing with bouncers (wonders never cease).
You might think there’s a lot of perks with clubbing with a bouncer, and there is. However, like when generally dealing with bouncers at clubs, you’ll have a lot of shit to put up with.
1. Bouncer Can Get You Into Their Club
Though I’m sure the bouncer in your group would much rather go to a nightclub they don’t work at (who wants to go to work on their day off?!), if your group happens to be going there, then why not take advantage of the insider in your group? Not only will having the bouncer with you tell the bouncers working that night that you must be alright if their colleague is hanging out with you, you’ll be guaranteed entry. A lot of people who know the bouncer take advantage of this, so of course bouncers themselves will do the same.
2. Bouncer Can Hook You Up
Again, if the club you’re going to is the one the bouncer work at, if you happen to have often seen a hottie that works there, whether it’s a bartender or a cocktail waitress or whatever, since the bouncer knows them, they can not only introduce you, but vouch for you that you’re a good sort and worth the hottie’s time.
3. They Know How To Deal With Bouncers
If the bouncers at the club you’re trying to get into isn’t letting your group in, perhaps the bouncer you know can approach them and try say how they identify with the bullshit they put up with in their job and they understand why they barred the group. They can show their security ID if that helps. If you’re lucky, the other bouncer will take your bouncer friend’s word for it and let you guys in.
4. Bouncer Will Help You Win A Fight
If you get into a fight, the bouncer will back you up and they’ll defend you to the death, seeing as you’re an acquaintance or even a friend of their’s rather than a random drunk that’s an occupational hazard for them.
1. Their Ego
When dealing with bouncers at clubs, you can tell from the brief time you deal with them that they’re smug, arrogant arseholes you want nothing to do with. So imagine a whole night of having to be with one boasting about their job and how “powerful” and “awesome” they are, even when they’re not working. The bouncer will say how they know everything about clubs in a really smug way that just boils your blood. They think they’re powerful, even though they’re not working. Egotism at its worst.
2. They Make Things Harder
They will drag shit on. For instance, if the bouncer working at the club isn’t letting your group in, usually they’ve made up their minds and that’s that. However, if there’s a bouncer in your group, they will go on about how they’re also a bouncer. Though I’m sure they’re sincerely trying to help their friend out to have a good night, they’re more so doing it to again boast about who they are and their power. The bouncers working won’t give a shit if you’re a bouncer or not, they don’t know you. There is no brotherhood amongst bouncers. It’s a dog eat dog world out there y’all! (Yes, this contradicts Point 3 of the Pros list, but this scenario can go either way. I know from a real life situation I was in one night).
3. They’ll Win A Fight Against You
If you two clash and get into fisticuffs, unless you’re built or a black belt or something, it’s pretty much guaranteed the bouncer’s going to not only win, but humiliate you in front of everyone. They’re trained to fight idiots, especially drunken idiots, so they know all these fight maneuvers you’ve never even heard of. Do yourself a favour and don’t fight a bouncer.
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Thursday 20 June 2013