Oh hi, clubbers. You may have heard of a little movie from 2003 called The Room. If you haven’t, that’s okay, heaps of people don’t know it. It’s not something I would recommend for everyone. It was meant to be a very serious romantic drama, but its terrible acting, storyline and dialogue have made it an unintentionally hilarious piece of shit that has a huge cult following.
The world has the film’s lead actor, writer and director Tommy Wiseau to thank for this hilarious monstrosity. It is the sad story of Johnny (played by Wiseau), a nice, caring man with the thickest European accent imaginable, whose fiancee Lisa is cheating on him with his best mate Mark, and other characters are just there for the ride. It’s most definitely a case of that it’s so bad it’s good, and it really is an acquired taste.
What’s also an acquired taste is booze, and how much you can take. Being a cult film, it’s not that surprising there are various drinking games for it online. Like The Office and The Big Bang Theory drinking games, a lot of the drinking happens whenever a character says one of their one-liners or does something weird and/or funny. The movie only goes for an hour and a half, but the hangover will last a lot longer than that. But trust me, this game is fun!
1. Someone Says “Hi” Or “Hello” (1 shot)
This may seem insignificant, but this happens A LOT in The Room, so only have one shot. The game will be over very quickly if you do more than one shot per greeting.
2. Awkward/Unnecessary Laugh (1 shot)
Johnny often laughs for no reason when talking, and often at inappropriate times. For instance, Mark tells Johnny the story of a woman being beaten up for sleeping around, and Johnny’s reaction is to laugh and say, “What a story, Mark!”
3. Denny Being Creepy (2 shots)
Denny is a weirdo, plain and simple. He goes into the bedroom when Johnny and Lisa are obviously about to have sex, and when Johnny asks if he has something else to do, Denny replies earnestly, “I just want to watch you guys”. Denny flat out says he’s in love with Lisa to Johnny, and Johnny’s all calm about it. He also says to Lisa, “You look beautiful today. Can I kiss you?”
4. Best Friend Reference (2 shots)
Johnny likes to emphasise how Mark is his best friend, or when Mark says this about Johnny when Lisa tries to seduce him. This really hams in the predictable fallout once Johnny finds out Mark’s been sleeping with Lisa.
5. Bullshit Romantic/Sexual One Liner (2 shots)
This movie really like to revel in the romance and sexual innuendo, and its glorious crap at it. Some lines:
“Chocolate is the symbol of love”.
“Love is blind” (you will be after drinking to this a few times!)
“I gotta go see Michelle in a little bit to make out with her.”
“The candles, the music, the sexy dress… I mean, what’s going on here?”
“Lisa is looking hot tonight.”
7. Johnny Says He Doesn’t Drink (3 shots)
One of the film’s many plot holes is that Johnny claims he doesn’t drink, despite him doing so in two different scenes. Though he reckons he doesn’t drink, you certainly will when he denies it.
8. Awful Sex Scenes (3 shots)
If you thought the sexy dialogue was bad, wait until the sex scenes! Most movie sex scenes go for 30 seconds or so; these ones go for three minutes! Mark and Lisa root in odd places such as a staircase, but it’s the ugly Tommy sex scenes that are gross. You see his gross arse, and he humps Lisa’s bellybutton!
9. Unnecessary Subplots (3 shots)
There are certain scenes that bring in new characters or subplots, but they are never mentioned again, making them completely pointless. This happens a lot in The Room. For instance, Lisa’s mum tells her she has breast cancer (and is calm about it), and Denny is threatened by a drug dealer.
10. The Notorious Lines (3 shots)
If you don’t drink to these lines, don’t bother playing at all.
“You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”
“I did not hit her, it’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not hit her. I did not… Oh, hi Mark.”
“Cheep cheep cheep.”
“Anyway, how is your sex life?”
Originally published here at barsandnightclubs.com.au on Wednesday 16 September 2015